06.29.06
Generalizations are Always Wrong, and Girls are Evil
I’m sitting in the break room at work (where else would one sit?) and a female coworker-I’ve known her for a month-sits down next to me. I ask her how she is doing-because I’m a nice guy like that-and she turns, looks at me, and opens her mouth to start speaking. Before any sound has actually escaped her lips, I am deeply regretting my current geographical position. The look of icy indignation that congealed in her eyes told me all too well that I had marked myself as a target for a vent of epic female proportions. Thus, at that moment, I wanted nothing more to be far away, preferably somewhere in Cambodia, for added security.
You see, there is a common attitude I’ve discovered among females my age. That attitude states, in no uncertain terms, that ‘I am nice and innocent and perfect, and any who go against my will shall always be the guilty party who persecutes me unrelentingly.’ Of course, ‘going against my will’ can be anything from telling her off to simply existing. This attitude is especially dangerous because most every female has it, and it clashes with itself whenever more than one is occupying the same general vicinity. This means that girls don’t like each other that much, and explains why they are so catty to each other.
See, guys are all cool about this. We like someone until they give us reasons to dislike them, and then we simply voice our opinion loudly, and possibly punch each other. At that point, there’s nothing left to do. The opposing parties might even become friends. But not girls…oh no. They hold onto percieved slights for years, simmering away on the back burners of their vengeful minds. It boggles my mind, but most of these female fiends can’t even consider the concept of letting something go. No concept of letting it roll of like water off a duck’s back. No concept of the fact that everyone else is a thinking, feeling human too, and they are not the only ones so easily hurt. Life is not only unfair and cold to them.
When I saw all this preping behind my co-worker’s eyes, I knew it was too late. And I was right, or course (if I wasn’t, this blog entry would not exist). So there she is, for 15 minutes, going off on how the year 2006 is the worst of her already miserable life and how everything is about her, and everyone she doesn’t like is a snobby jerk. And there I am, forced to smile and nod, smile and nod. Because come on, what am I going to say? “I’m sorry, but it seems to me that you’re a complete female dog (insert proper term for that at own discretion) and even though your life is not perfect, neither are you. Plus, it would be a whole lot better if you didn’t let half this crap get to you, because it is really not all about you, so it doesn’t matter at all in the grand scheme of things.” Of course I couldn’t say that, but I really wanted to.
This observation of mine may seem harsh, perhaps a gross over-generalization, but I’ve seen this way too many times to dismiss its existence. Many girls my age just cannot understand that they are not the only victims in this world. Wouldn’t you be happier if you allowed things to pass if it meant getting along with your fellow woman? I swear…guys may have macho egos, but girls have constant PMS.
Beth Anne said,
June 29, 2006 at 1:15 am
no, I don’t think you’re being mean at all. As a female, I must say that the vast majority of my kind are like that. It never ceases to amaze me how much we backstab each other and generally strive for the destruction of our fellow women. I blame feminists, especially the ones that are reminecient of fascists.
Kala said,
June 29, 2006 at 9:48 am
Ahem, you made no mention of the occasional exception, like me:)… and the fact that what they typically need is God, more than a burst of pent up anger from the male form. Although, I have seen cases when a good slap to the cranium could do a lot of good.
jediwannabe said,
June 29, 2006 at 11:35 am
You will note that I said ‘many’ ‘most’ or ‘generally’ leaving room for non-PMS-crazed ladies, such as you lovely ladies who read my rants.
Elliot Swan said,
June 29, 2006 at 12:01 pm
See, I think the real problem here is that girls need to play more airsoft and/or video games. That’s really the problem–no safe way to release all of that human need to cause pain to our fellow beings. All us guys have to do is find a way to legally kill and/or seriously injure each other, and walla–friends.
Take football, for example…
Beth Anne said,
June 29, 2006 at 12:10 pm
ok, so design a game where the only way to kill somone is either a knife in the back or slander and you’ve got a deal.
jediwannabe said,
June 29, 2006 at 12:13 pm
Uh, hello? That’s what reality shows are for. A woman’s ability to backstab and manipulate can be put to good use. Oops, there I go with those generalizations again.
Beth Anne said,
June 29, 2006 at 12:21 pm
Yes, but not every woman is ON a reality show. While they expose women for the manipulating bitches that they are, the vast majority of women have no such opportunity to utilize their talents.
Besides, I thought the whole point of this is to avoid actually hurting other people. By placing women in situations where backstabbing is encouraged, won’t that just make everything worse? Personally, I prefer the gaming idea. Except for the fact that women can (and will) take anything you do them on the screen personally, it’s a great idea.
jediwannabe said,
June 29, 2006 at 12:25 pm
So you’re saying that if I made you sign a contract stating that you won’t take anything personal and pout at me, scream in distress, hit me, or do anything to make feel like a terrible person for destroying you in Halo 2, you females would get your agression out through video games? Hmmm, the possibilities.
Beth Anne said,
June 29, 2006 at 12:27 pm
you’re forgetting an aspect of the female species. The ability to worm our way out of ANYTHING. Even if I signed that, I could get out of it somehow.
jediwannabe said,
June 29, 2006 at 12:30 pm
Blast your kind and your innocent puppy eyes and pouting lips. Verily, I am beaten.
Beth Anne said,
June 29, 2006 at 12:40 pm
and you also just proved my point.
Kala said,
June 29, 2006 at 5:32 pm
Stereotypicality (is that even a word) in the written form…
Brianna said,
June 29, 2006 at 10:09 pm
Girls Def. are a force to be reckoned with. a good force? a bad force? No one quite knows for sure. I, for example, am a good force. Now kala on the other hand…… just kidding.
Kala said,
June 30, 2006 at 12:56 am
Okay Bri, you have me pegged:) But just to add a twinge of cattyness so that Peter doesn’t think I’m too good to be true, you are very lucky we live on opposite sides of town…
Lena said,
June 30, 2006 at 1:53 pm
Peter, does this have anything to do with your other blog entry? The one about not dating? *ahem* Diablo II has done wonders for my social life. No interest in backstabbing, but I LOVE hitting things with Wirt’s Leg. Too bad it leaves me no time to actually HAVE a social life, so still not a problem. Maybe that’s the real reason guys don’t backstab….. (just a thought….)
Brianna said,
June 30, 2006 at 8:13 pm
I have also noticed that sparring is an awesome way to relieve all those evil tendancies. and it is a ton of fun.
i agree that video games are also great for that, though my skill level is somewhat scoffed at by SOME people, i wont say their names, but they know who they are…..